Reply to Mixed collar dating- need relationship advice please!!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I am not as bad a person as y'all think I am, goodness. I was raised to get an education but then to take care of a house and home. I cooked meals and kept a spotless house every single day for my husband who worked long hours at a law firm. Many of his co workers, male and female, said they wished they had a wife life me or some of the women said they would like to do what i was doing. We were a single income family happily. He did make a lot of money so I didn't "have" to work. It worked for us. A year after I got married, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. I took care of her for close to 10 years. I put off having children the last few years of her life because of that. I sat by her bedside, cooked her meals, changed her bandages after brain surgery, made her doctor's appointments, dealt with her insurance, so all of you who think I sat around and took my husband's money are dead wrong. Cultural relativism works inside the US, too. We tried for children for almost 3 years so that caused further delays, and during that time my father was diagnosed.  So ALL i know how to do, or want to do, is take care of people I love.  My boyfriend and I get along great I just wonder if we can make it because of our differences and his lack of money management. I am not a snob, nor lazy. No, I do not want to work outside the home but if that's what I had to do to put my food in my child't mouth, I would.  To those that had helpful comments, thank you. [/quote]

I don't think you are a bad person, OP. But you are not being realistic about your prospects. No, you are probably not going to be happy with this guy in the long term, given your differences and his questionable financial stability. However, given that you are a 40-year-old single parent with no money and no career, I don't think the kind of man you ultimately want is going to be interested in you unless you are an absolute goddess physically, and frankly probably not even then, because you're competing with younger women without children. You either have to settle for a husband that isn't quite what you want, like this guy, or you have to go get a job.

I have a gorgeous single (no kids) 40-year-old friend with similar standards. She wants a man who is well off but also tall, educated, liberal, and no kids, and she's been looking for that man for close to a decade with zero luck. She is already naturally beautiful, has had minor work done that keeps her looking 30, and works out constantly to maintain her body. She gets male attention everywhere she goes, is always going on dates, and has no trouble getting boyfriends, but none have led to marriage. The guys that fit her criteria will date her for up to a year and then move on to quickly marry younger women or women within their own socioeconomic circle (usually both). [/quote]

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