Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am not as bad a person as y'all think I am, goodness. I was raised to get an education but then to take care of a house and home. I cooked meals and kept a spotless house every single day for my husband who worked long hours at a law firm. Many of his co workers, male and female, said they wished they had a wife life me or some of the women said they would like to do what i was doing. We were a single income family happily. He did make a lot of money so I didn't "have" to work. It worked for us. A year after I got married, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. I took care of her for close to 10 years. I put off having children the last few years of her life because of that. I sat by her bedside, cooked her meals, changed her bandages after brain surgery, made her doctor's appointments, dealt with her insurance, so all of you who think I sat around and took my husband's money are dead wrong. Cultural relativism works inside the US, too. We tried for children for almost 3 years so that caused further delays, and during that time my father was diagnosed. So ALL i know how to do, or want to do, is take care of people I love. My boyfriend and I get along great I just wonder if we can make it because of our differences and his lack of money management. I am not a snob, nor lazy. No, I do not want to work outside the home but if that's what I had to do to put my food in my child't mouth, I would. To those that had helpful comments, thank you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound codependent OP. What kind of mother lets her daughter take care of her at the expense of everything else for TEN years?! That sounds horrifically dysfunctional. I would seek therapy.

I disagree. It doesn't sound like OP was very career-focused before her mother got sick (OP, correct me if I'm wrong). If OP had the ability to care for her sick mother and her DH was on board with it, then why wouldn't she? She didn't want a career anyway, so what better use of her time?

Anonymous wrote:You sound codependent OP. What kind of mother lets her daughter take care of her at the expense of everything else for TEN years?! That sounds horrifically dysfunctional. I would seek therapy.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am not as bad a person as y'all think I am, goodness. I was raised to get an education but then to take care of a house and home. I cooked meals and kept a spotless house every single day for my husband who worked long hours at a law firm. Many of his co workers, male and female, said they wished they had a wife life me or some of the women said they would like to do what i was doing. We were a single income family happily. He did make a lot of money so I didn't "have" to work. It worked for us. A year after I got married, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. I took care of her for close to 10 years. I put off having children the last few years of her life because of that. I sat by her bedside, cooked her meals, changed her bandages after brain surgery, made her doctor's appointments, dealt with her insurance, so all of you who think I sat around and took my husband's money are dead wrong. Cultural relativism works inside the US, too. We tried for children for almost 3 years so that caused further delays, and during that time my father was diagnosed. So ALL i know how to do, or want to do, is take care of people I love. My boyfriend and I get along great I just wonder if we can make it because of our differences and his lack of money management. I am not a snob, nor lazy. No, I do not want to work outside the home but if that's what I had to do to put my food in my child't mouth, I would. To those that had helpful comments, thank you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am not as bad a person as y'all think I am, goodness. I was raised to get an education but then to take care of a house and home. I cooked meals and kept a spotless house every single day for my husband who worked long hours at a law firm. Many of his co workers, male and female, said they wished they had a wife life me or some of the women said they would like to do what i was doing. We were a single income family happily. He did make a lot of money so I didn't "have" to work. It worked for us. A year after I got married, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. I took care of her for close to 10 years. I put off having children the last few years of her life because of that. I sat by her bedside, cooked her meals, changed her bandages after brain surgery, made her doctor's appointments, dealt with her insurance, so all of you who think I sat around and took my husband's money are dead wrong. Cultural relativism works inside the US, too. We tried for children for almost 3 years so that caused further delays, and during that time my father was diagnosed. So ALL i know how to do, or want to do, is take care of people I love. My boyfriend and I get along great I just wonder if we can make it because of our differences and his lack of money management. I am not a snob, nor lazy. No, I do not want to work outside the home but if that's what I had to do to put my food in my child't mouth, I would. To those that had helpful comments, thank you.

You sound like a good person, OP. DCUM is a harsh crowd, don't let them get to you. Good luck in figuring things out, wishing you the best.

+1. OP, you sound like you're trying to do the right thing here. You do sound a bit sheltered and naive. I posted earlier that you should take this time to focus on you and your son and that your bf sounds like a bad idea because he's extremely co-dependent at best. No need to defend your past; just focus on your future.

In response to your original question: Drop the guy. You have a son and you don't need to add in a grown man so irresponsible that he needs you to manage his finances and his whole life other than his construction work. I mean this gently, but you have some growing up to do. Plan out how to ensure a good life for you and your son, and grow up without a significant other until you're comfortable standing on your own two feet. You're now faced with gaining the maturity and independence that many women gained in their 20's. I'm rooting for you and I think you can do this. Take care.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why did you get divorced?

Not OP, here. That is really non of your business.

Anonymous wrote:OP, why did you get divorced?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am not as bad a person as y'all think I am, goodness. I was raised to get an education but then to take care of a house and home. I cooked meals and kept a spotless house every single day for my husband who worked long hours at a law firm. Many of his co workers, male and female, said they wished they had a wife life me or some of the women said they would like to do what i was doing. We were a single income family happily. He did make a lot of money so I didn't "have" to work. It worked for us. A year after I got married, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. I took care of her for close to 10 years. I put off having children the last few years of her life because of that. I sat by her bedside, cooked her meals, changed her bandages after brain surgery, made her doctor's appointments, dealt with her insurance, so all of you who think I sat around and took my husband's money are dead wrong. Cultural relativism works inside the US, too. We tried for children for almost 3 years so that caused further delays, and during that time my father was diagnosed. So ALL i know how to do, or want to do, is take care of people I love. My boyfriend and I get along great I just wonder if we can make it because of our differences and his lack of money management. I am not a snob, nor lazy. No, I do not want to work outside the home but if that's what I had to do to put my food in my child't mouth, I would. To those that had helpful comments, thank you.

But OP, you did take your husband's money. I'm not saying there weren't extenuating circumstances, but you did simply rely on his income your entire adult life, basically. Some of us have had to take care of people AND work.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am not as bad a person as y'all think I am, goodness. I was raised to get an education but then to take care of a house and home. I cooked meals and kept a spotless house every single day for my husband who worked long hours at a law firm. Many of his co workers, male and female, said they wished they had a wife life me or some of the women said they would like to do what i was doing. We were a single income family happily. He did make a lot of money so I didn't "have" to work. It worked for us. A year after I got married, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. I took care of her for close to 10 years. I put off having children the last few years of her life because of that. I sat by her bedside, cooked her meals, changed her bandages after brain surgery, made her doctor's appointments, dealt with her insurance, so all of you who think I sat around and took my husband's money are dead wrong. Cultural relativism works inside the US, too. We tried for children for almost 3 years so that caused further delays, and during that time my father was diagnosed. So ALL i know how to do, or want to do, is take care of people I love. My boyfriend and I get along great I just wonder if we can make it because of our differences and his lack of money management. I am not a snob, nor lazy. No, I do not want to work outside the home but if that's what I had to do to put my food in my child't mouth, I would. To those that had helpful comments, thank you.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am not as bad a person as y'all think I am, goodness. I was raised to get an education but then to take care of a house and home. I cooked meals and kept a spotless house every single day for my husband who worked long hours at a law firm. Many of his co workers, male and female, said they wished they had a wife life me or some of the women said they would like to do what i was doing. We were a single income family happily. He did make a lot of money so I didn't "have" to work. It worked for us. A year after I got married, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. I took care of her for close to 10 years. I put off having children the last few years of her life because of that. I sat by her bedside, cooked her meals, changed her bandages after brain surgery, made her doctor's appointments, dealt with her insurance, so all of you who think I sat around and took my husband's money are dead wrong. Cultural relativism works inside the US, too. We tried for children for almost 3 years so that caused further delays, and during that time my father was diagnosed. So ALL i know how to do, or want to do, is take care of people I love. My boyfriend and I get along great I just wonder if we can make it because of our differences and his lack of money management. I am not a snob, nor lazy. No, I do not want to work outside the home but if that's what I had to do to put my food in my child't mouth, I would. To those that had helpful comments, thank you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am not as bad a person as y'all think I am, goodness. I was raised to get an education but then to take care of a house and home. I cooked meals and kept a spotless house every single day for my husband who worked long hours at a law firm. Many of his co workers, male and female, said they wished they had a wife life me or some of the women said they would like to do what i was doing. We were a single income family happily. He did make a lot of money so I didn't "have" to work. It worked for us. A year after I got married, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. I took care of her for close to 10 years. I put off having children the last few years of her life because of that. I sat by her bedside, cooked her meals, changed her bandages after brain surgery, made her doctor's appointments, dealt with her insurance, so all of you who think I sat around and took my husband's money are dead wrong. Cultural relativism works inside the US, too. We tried for children for almost 3 years so that caused further delays, and during that time my father was diagnosed. So ALL i know how to do, or want to do, is take care of people I love. My boyfriend and I get along great I just wonder if we can make it because of our differences and his lack of money management. I am not a snob, nor lazy. No, I do not want to work outside the home but if that's what I had to do to put my food in my child't mouth, I would. To those that had helpful comments, thank you.

You sound like a good person, OP. DCUM is a harsh crowd, don't let them get to you. Good luck in figuring things out, wishing you the best.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am not as bad a person as y'all think I am, goodness. I was raised to get an education but then to take care of a house and home. I cooked meals and kept a spotless house every single day for my husband who worked long hours at a law firm. Many of his co workers, male and female, said they wished they had a wife life me or some of the women said they would like to do what i was doing. We were a single income family happily. He did make a lot of money so I didn't "have" to work. It worked for us. A year after I got married, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. I took care of her for close to 10 years. I put off having children the last few years of her life because of that. I sat by her bedside, cooked her meals, changed her bandages after brain surgery, made her doctor's appointments, dealt with her insurance, so all of you who think I sat around and took my husband's money are dead wrong. Cultural relativism works inside the US, too. We tried for children for almost 3 years so that caused further delays, and during that time my father was diagnosed. So ALL i know how to do, or want to do, is take care of people I love. My boyfriend and I get along great I just wonder if we can make it because of our differences and his lack of money management. I am not a snob, nor lazy. No, I do not want to work outside the home but if that's what I had to do to put my food in my child't mouth, I would. To those that had helpful comments, thank you.