Reply to MIL mad that we want to host Thanksgiving

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is it just his parents? Who else is invited?[/quote]

OP here. I should have mentioned—BIL and his wife and two kids are coming and staying overnight. DH’s single cousin is coming, he can bring friends if he wants. DH aunt and uncle also coming. DH’s parents could also stay overnight with us if they choose to. We also have 2 kids.[/quote]

[b]Your MIL is being silly. She can tell her friends that times are changing and she will be going to your house this year. [/b]

Don’t push on your end though—let her sons be the ones to get her the rest of the way on this. “Mom, are you really not going to come see all of us? C’mon, we still want you to make your famous pecan pie (or whatever).”[/quote]

Yes, your MIL is engaging in magical thinking that if she doesn't host that her friends can not figure out something else to do that day.  Amazingly they can and will even if that means they stay at home which btw may be exactly what they want to do.

Personally, I hate Thanksgiving and we never host.  I would be fine if no one invited us either because I would love the day to stay at home, hang out, do nothing, and no big cooking to do.[/quote]

True, the friends could find something else to do, but some people really like traditions. Some people really like celebrating holidays the same way every year- that's the definition of a tradition.

Sure, you can do new things and some people like to do new and different things every year, but some families really get a sense of warmth and comfort from gathering together in the same place, with the same people year after year. Different families and friend groups like to do different things.

One is not better than the other, but it's not entirely fair to try to push a family you've married into to change because you want them to. It's one thing if I want my mom and dad to do things differently and I push them to do what I'd like better, but it would be entirely different for me to try to get my spouse's parents to give up one of their traditions. That's not really my call in the way it might be with my own family of birth. 
[/quote]

OP here. From my perception and understanding, and a few direct conversations, MIL is the only one in the family who wants to be the sole host in her home, always.

-BIL and SIL are very eager to host and to have someone else host, and their kids love the idea of being at our house or their house
-DH's cousin is happy to mix it up, and to come to our house, which is closer. 
-DH's aunt and uncle, I don't know; I haven't talked to them directly about this, but they seem willing and happy to come to our house this year

So I would say the majority of participants want to host and to mix it up rather than doing the same thing every single holiday, every single year.[/quote]

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