Reply to DW work is impacting our marriage - looking for advice from the smart people of DCUM

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[quote=Anonymous]Without reading 11 pages of comments, I will share that I am often frustrated that my husband comes home after dinner most nights and that I wish I could talk to him more, but so am exhausted after wrangling our kids by myself from two pick ups, soccer, dinner, bath, and starting bedtime. I make 2x what he does and my career is suffering to some extent because I have to leave at 5pm sharp every day to pick up kids.

He does need to make some changes in how he spends his time, but I also remind myself that he is in a different part of his career than I am. He was in grad school, post-docs and fellowships for a long time. Now he is a few years into a GS12 job. I have been a senior manager at an IT contractor as long as we have been married. I forget sometimes that he can’t just say “my kid has a class party, I’ll need to move the meeting” the way I can. I have enough seniority to dictate my schedule to some extent and to delegate work. He does not have as much flexibility and so I try to respect that while also coaching him to stick up for himself. If we didn’t have kids he’d work until 10pm most nights. That’s just who he is. [/quote]

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