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[quote=Anonymous]I think that planning how to address this is the thoughtful, caring way to parent, OP.  I was the unattractive one in my family.  Although I did often hear my sisters complimented in front of me, I found that the bigger issue was the more subtle bias that most people have toward more attractive people.  I was often confused and did not understand why everyone was kinder to my sisters than they were to me.  I assumed that there was something wrong with my personality, and that if I were nicer, smarter, funnier, or more interesting that people would like me more.  It seems like a winning strategy, but nothing was ever enough and my childhood and adolescence was a sad time for me, characterized by anxiety, perfectionism, and a pretty nasty eating disorder.  Only after I internalized the fact that we live in a superficial world and that how people treat you isn't necessarily a reflection of your worth as a person did things turn around for me.  Ultimately, I wish my mother had just told me, "look, people ignore you and are nice to them because they are prettier, but not because they are better people than you are.  We love you all no matter what other yardsticks other people might be applying."  But, perhaps that is a very difficult thing to acknowledge to a kid...[/quote]

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