Reply to Anyone's ILs don't get gifts from you?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Anyone's ILs don't get gifts from you?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I always feel sad when I read posts like yours, OP.  It's more important for you to be right than it is to live in a happy, healthy marriage.  When you get married you merge families. Your DH's parents are part of your family now.  Why are you keeping score on who is doing more in your marriage? You are supposed to be a team.

I've been married for 30 years. I've watched lots of marriages fail. In every singe case, the wife sounded exactly like you.  If you continue this type of thinking, you will end up divorced.  Maybe that's ok with you. But I promise you, your DH will not stay married to someone who keeps score, who is on the lookout for any perceived hint of unfair treatment, and who treats his family as less-than. [/quote]

Weird.  All of the marriages I've seen fail were the ones like OP's mother - where the female was expected to take on all of the household tasks by virtue of being female.  Women work these days - so it no longer makes sense for all obligations to be dumped on her.  MIL raised a son - if she didn't raise him to care about purchasing gifts, sending thank you notes, etc., that's on her.[/quote]

Yep, my own parents' divorce was because my dad treated my mother like his secretary despite the fact that Mom is/was the breadwinner and worked 2x the hours he did in addition to doing everything related to raising us kids. Same dynamic with my in-laws, FIL wanted to be king of his castle and MIL got sick of it.  I'm one of three children and so far, we have 2 healthy marriages where the men are expected to pull their weight and one failed marriage where resentment over living with a man-child ruined the relationship.

I'm so thankful I'm married to a grown up that loves his family of origin a ton and wants to put in the effort of getting gifts for them because making them happy makes him happy.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics