Reply to If you suspect that your spouse is on the cusp

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What do you mean? An attraction? Flirty friendship? Texts and emails exchanged?[/quote]

OP here:  She's starting to talk about a coworker every day.  I know him - he's a tall, built, good looking guy.  I noticed that they have quite a few texts going back and forth with lots of jokes about work and have lunch together multiple times a week.  We have lunch together about once every two weeks.  The texts haven't crossed the line but lots of jokes and rainbows, unicorns, funny memes that I sent her, etc.

We have a good marriage if not always exciting.[/quote]

Make your marriage exciting. Flirting with a good looking guy is exciting, so you need to be more exciting than him. [/quote]

OP here - a 15 year marriage with kids can't compete (excitement - wise) with flirting with a good looking new guy.  I'm just going to be direct and make sure she's clear how I feel about her and what's at stake.[/quote]

Sure it can. I'd rather have excitement from my DH than some new hot thing. It just takes some effort. [/quote]

You only seek out excitement with a random guy (in a serious way) when you're feeling no excitement or connection in your marriage.  While marriage excitement can't compete with the excitement of a flirtation, a happy fulfilling one where you feel loved, supported, and engaged (that part is key) can easily compete overall.  Make sure she feels like you find her interesting and sexy and fun and like the highlight of your day.[/quote]

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