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[quote=Anonymous]I'm a DIL.

Yes, it is odd that they didn't mention this at all to you and just sent the evite. It is not odd that they chose the guest list and didn't include your guests. It's their event to invite whomever they would like to.

There is definitely more going on. Maybe they anticipated the reaction you would have and wanted you to have time to cool off. Maybe an evite is the way DIL family is used to doing things. Maybe your lifelong friend did or said something to offend DIL and she didn't want to spend her Thanksgiving with them. Maybe they just really wanted to start their own tradition. Who knows!

Yes, talk to your son. Calmly.
Yes, expect things to change when kids get married and they want to do things differently.
Yes, they can invite whomever they want.
No, you shouldn't ask them to invite your guests.
Yes, it is OK for you to decline their invitation and continue hosting as usual.

Don't let this be the reason you don't have a good relationship with them. Decide how you want to spend your Thanksgiving and MOVE ON. Don't let this be the fire starter for a decades long grudge.[/quote]

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