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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm on OP's side here, and I'm a DIL, not a MIL. If there's a long-standing family tradition for Thanksgiving, which it sounds like there is in this case, then it seems unkind to me for the son and DIL to jump in and change it without even mentioning it to OP first. It's not that OP has the right to host Thanksgiving forever, but the way DIL did this was very thoughtless.[/quote]

+1 Im also a DIL, for what it's worth.

However, consider that she might have sent it out with your son's encouraging. My husband is conflict avoidant and he doesn't indulge his challenging mother much. I follow his lead on how to deal with his mother, even when I don't agree, since I don't have much of my own relationship with her. I could totally see having a conversation with my husband, explaining why I feel we need to do our own thing this year and him telling me to send out the evite and not worry about it.

There's no way to know what the backstory is here. But I do wonder if you're a bit more difficult than you realize (difficult people rarely realize that they're tough). The way you described your friends as having been around for far longer than her made me cringe. [/quote]

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