Reply to 12-yo Boy Cried at Lunch

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why can't we spend just as much energy teaching the other kids how to act and react and not the one who showed real human emotions? Aren't we reinforcing the wrong things here?

Do parents whose kids make fun of a child who is upset feel the need to go to the counselor to discuss their child's lack of empathy and generally bad behavior?

Rhetorical questions, but serious thoughts.[/quote]

I live in SF, though I'm from the East Coast. It's different here.  If a kid trips, falls and cries, other kids may laugh, but they'll also help the victim up, say they tripped last week, offer up a band aid, etc. When a kid wacked a locker into my DD's eye, he apologized twice to her, gave her his snack, brought her to get ice, and wrote an apology note (6th grade).  If one of DD's friends who is a boy cried, she and their other friends would huddle him so fewer people could see - not because they'd make fun, but to give him a sense of privacy with his feelings that he didn't mean to have come out publicly.

I have been shocked repeatedly at how kind the kids are here, and how much kids are shot down by other kids when they're mean. The kids here who are popular are the kids who are smart, funny, and KIND to everyone. The bullies aren't liked. If a kid cried at school DD might come home and tell me all about it, but she and her friends wouldn't be making fun of that boy and would be looking down on anyone who did.[/quote]

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