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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I grew up in PA with depression era parents.  Guests never lifted a finger.  They never brought anything or helped in any way.  [/quote]

This is the way I am, too. I'm a 30 year old white female, for context.

I think it's lousy manners to put a guest "to work" in your home. I also think it's weird and rude to start assigning dishes for people to bring to an event I'm hosting in my home, so I don't do that either. If I'm hosting someone in my home, I consider myself 100% responsible for everything, start to finish. It feels inappropriate to me to start rummaging through someone's kitchen to "help", so it feels unnatural for me to offer to help with food prep and dishes. However, I know that many people consider not offering to help rude, so I usually offer but don't insist. I also offer to bring a dish, because I know that's socially expected, too.

Exceptions are VERY close girlfriends and family with whom I truly have emotionally strong and positive relationships. I don't think anything of cleaning their kitchens or whatever.  :mrgreen: [/quote]

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