Reply to Am I forever at fault no matter what I've done since then?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Am I forever at fault no matter what I've done since then?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^another example. If we're in the middle of sex, and something uncomfortable is happening - even if it's just the blanket is all awkward or something -- and I say something for him to fix it. And he doesn't hear me, and I ask again, and he still doesn't hear/listen/fix it: my oxytocin automatically is done. I mean, it could come back, but my body just takes over and is back to square one.

He used to get frustrated at me for moments like that, understandably.

But I have to tell him, I can feel it just drop. Like we could be super hot, and then in an instant, it's like I'm back to before we started making out or whatever. Not on at all.

It's trust. Because there we were being super close, and he can't even listen to something I said? And he'll be like, I couldn't hear! And I'm like, you and are are about 2 inches away. It tells me we were being close, but he wasn't really paying attention to me.

Now that it has been years of this happening (rarely, but disappointingly every time), we know it. And he KNOWS to pay quick attention if he hears me say something that he didn't hear the first time.

OK! So how this applies to you:
Your wife's trust and hormonal response are tightly linked. 
If she cannot trust you (your fault pretty much), she's not going to have a positive hormonal reaction. It's almost physically impossible even if she thinks she might be over it. You have to go ABOVE and BEYOND to restore this. She is partly responsible for choosing to trust also. But I hate to say, you can't hold it against her if 1) you haven't done 200% to restore it, and 2) if at the end she just chooses not to trust you anymore. [/quote]

I don't understand how him not hearing you ask him to move a blanket has anything to do with trust or sex. You are way WAY overthinking things. Get out of your own head. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics