Reply to 12 Year Old Son Constantly Lies

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Help - really.  Please none of the "apple does not fall far from the tree" kind of help.

My 12 year old DS [b]is an only child [/b]is well behaved though struggles a bit with school and social stuff has been lying about almost EVERYTHING lately.  Everything from feeding the dogs, remembering to bring running shoes to gym, and what shirt he wore the day of school photos.  Frankly, I cannot trust him with anything he says anymore.  I try to give him the benefit of the doubt and not verify everything he says (to avoid making it seem I do not try to trust him) but every time I randomly verify the more important things - I find out he lied!  He has even done this at school with a teacher about forgetting books or homework in the locker.

I try to make it clear that it is unacceptable, I get more upset at the instances when he does something wrong and lies - rather than just does something wrong.  I have explained how lying impacts trust in a relationship, and if I cannot trust him I cannot feel comfortable with giving privileges to do special or more mature things he may want to do.

Thoughts on strategies that work?  I know that some of this is age appropriate.[/quote]

I was an only child and also lied. What worked was leaving for college.  My mom didn't work and simply had too much time to stay on top of me and manage me.  She was constantly asking me questions and trying to micromanage me.  She didn't have enough to do and she spent so much time focusing on things that didn't matter.  You most likely need to let up on your child and stop bothering him about every little detail.  If you don't work I suggest finding a job or having another child.  Or take on some hobbies.  I love my mom and we are best friends today.  However, my childhood was rough and she drove me crazy.  Literally crazy.  [/quote]

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