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[quote=Anonymous]This is really a cute question, OP.  Fun to answer.

1) I used to work at a pet store that had many parrots, and parents had two approaches:

The first was to abruptly growl (while often grabbing the kid's hand), "LARLA! don't stick your fingers in the cage, he's mean and will bite you!!" and

the second approach was a gentle comment (sometimes accompanied with a brushing of the kid's hand away) "Larla, don't stick your fingers in the cage because you might scare him! (pause to let that sink in.)  If he's scared he might think you're going to hurt him, and he might bite you to keep you away."

After the first approach, the toddler might say, "mean bird!" and be angry at the bird, and in the second situation, the toddler would say, "oh, I won't hurt you birdie! Don't be scared!"

So just wanted to add that to the discussion here.  The first parent was teaching their child to fear the animal.  The second parent was teaching the child to empathize and then their actions naturally followed from there.

So with dogs, I think the way to get your child to not rush the dog is to interject there the idea that the dog might be frightened by a rapidly oncoming stranger.  A kid's assumption is that the whole world understands his intentions and point of view, so that is a great lesson for a kid in general and dogs are the perfect situation to teach that lesson.

2)  Ha, PP's comment of "mean owner, mean dog"  is often true, because many people choose their dog the way they choose their clothes, to send a message about who they are and what they are about.

However; "kind looking person, kind dog" is NOT true, because there's always the kind rescue person who is trying to civilize a rough dog.

So for purposes of a little kid, I'd go with "mean-looking owner, mean dog, just stay away," and "kind-looking person, don't know about the dog, so ask the owner."[/quote]

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