Well, this is a tough one. Kids, and little kids love my dog, he looks so cuddly, he is a golden retriever and fully trained at home, no jumping, no running when the doorbell rings, etc. but he loves people and kids, new ones especially. He goes into a frenzy of cuddliness but he is over 70lbs and I don't let anybody on walks touch him. Since you say you are not from a country where having dogs is not common, you would be scared and your child would be scared of my dog. And I would be scared that my heavy dog might knock down your kid and injure him. But eye contact, pointing, excited behavior form the kid basically means play time. My dog is trained and would never run after a kid but if a kid approaches him, he thinks it is play time, he'll lay down on the ground and go a bit nuts, he won't jump but he'll be in a submissive frenzy. So, for this reason, I don't like people approaching my dog. Now, many people have said, oh we are used to it, we know it is just playful, and then back away showing they didn't know. It turns out only a handful actually really knew about very friendly and people oriented dogs that are that big truly act. My dog never harmed anybody, but to a person like you or other people unfamiliar with people friendly large dogs, this is scary. It is best to avoid for both parties.

This is really a cute question, OP. Fun to answer.

1) I used to work at a pet store that had many parrots, and parents had two approaches:

The first was to abruptly growl (while often grabbing the kid's hand), "LARLA! don't stick your fingers in the cage, he's mean and will bite you!!" and

the second approach was a gentle comment (sometimes accompanied with a brushing of the kid's hand away) "Larla, don't stick your fingers in the cage because you might scare him! (pause to let that sink in.) If he's scared he might think you're going to hurt him, and he might bite you to keep you away."

After the first approach, the toddler might say, "mean bird!" and be angry at the bird, and in the second situation, the toddler would say, "oh, I won't hurt you birdie! Don't be scared!"

So just wanted to add that to the discussion here. The first parent was teaching their child to fear the animal. The second parent was teaching the child to empathize and then their actions naturally followed from there.

So with dogs, I think the way to get your child to not rush the dog is to interject there the idea that the dog might be frightened by a rapidly oncoming stranger. A kid's assumption is that the whole world understands his intentions and point of view, so that is a great lesson for a kid in general and dogs are the perfect situation to teach that lesson.

2) Ha, PP's comment of "mean owner, mean dog" is often true, because many people choose their dog the way they choose their clothes, to send a message about who they are and what they are about.

However; "kind looking person, kind dog" is NOT true, because there's always the kind rescue person who is trying to civilize a rough dog.

So for purposes of a little kid, I'd go with "mean-looking owner, mean dog, just stay away," and "kind-looking person, don't know about the dog, so ask the owner."

My dog is a rambunctious puppy. Seeing children approach is not something I enjoy right now. Please hold your kid back until you ask.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Always, always, ask.
I have a beautiful husky that I rescued a few years ago. Very hyper and jumpy, but small so people think shes a puppy. She has never bitten anyone but puts her mouth around wrists when she is excited. Its a bad habit that I have tried for years to break. Someone once told me its called mouthing.
My question to parents- When a child asks me if they can pet my dog I always say no, smile and walk away.
I don't want to scare a child and say she bites. What should I say to not scare them of all dogs?

I say "sorry she's not friendly!" My dog actually is friendly but she's a jumper.

Thank you all! Very simple.

Anonymous wrote:Always, always, ask.
I have a beautiful husky that I rescued a few years ago. Very hyper and jumpy, but small so people think shes a puppy. She has never bitten anyone but puts her mouth around wrists when she is excited. Its a bad habit that I have tried for years to break. Someone once told me its called mouthing.
My question to parents- When a child asks me if they can pet my dog I always say no, smile and walk away.
I don't want to scare a child and say she bites. What should I say to not scare them of all dogs?

I say "sorry she's not friendly!" My dog actually is friendly but she's a jumper.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Always, always, ask.
I have a beautiful husky that I rescued a few years ago. Very hyper and jumpy, but small so people think shes a puppy. She has never bitten anyone but puts her mouth around wrists when she is excited. Its a bad habit that I have tried for years to break. Someone once told me its called mouthing.
My question to parents- When a child asks me if they can pet my dog I always say no, smile and walk away.
I don't want to scare a child and say she bites. What should I say to not scare them of all dogs?

"Sorry, she isn't friendly with strangers." Parent will know what's up and it shouldn't scare the kid.

+1

When DD was waving excitedly at a puppy, I asked if she could pet the dog. The owner smiled while holding the leash firmly and said "no, he's not friendly." It was simple and direct. I knew to hold on to DDs hand until they passed just in case. She still loves dogs, and it was good practice that she's allowed to wave hello but not touch dogs - unless their owner invites her to, of course. I still consider the encounter a positive experience for DD.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teach the kid to hang back, observe the dog and the owner, then if the owner offers to let your kid pet the dog, then teach your child to put their hand out for the dog to smell first, then pet.

Agreed. He should not approach. I would say don't even point it out to him. If he notices then hang back and let him look/watch first.

Adding on here.

Yes, watch the owner. I will keep my dog on the inside, away from others. I shorten her leash (more if necessary) as we approach others. She's small and fluffy and most think she "should be" agreeable to pets. She isn't until she knows someone.

Anonymous wrote:Teach the kid to hang back, observe the dog and the owner, then if the owner offers to let your kid pet the dog, then teach your child to put their hand out for the dog to smell first, then pet.

Agreed. He should not approach. I would say don't even point it out to him. If he notices then hang back and let him look/watch first.

Anonymous wrote:Always ask. "Can we come pet your dog?" "Does your dog like to be pet?" Something like that.

I will almost always say yes. But if another dog jumped at my dog, I know my dog is feeling a little defensive and it's not a good time for a stranger to pet her.

Here's a body language tip: If the owner looks unfriendly, don't even bother asking. Mean humans have mean dogs.

But since you've mentioned it, looking at the owner is a good way to judge whether or not their dog is going to be safe for your kid. If the owner is distracted (on their phone), or the dog is wandering all over the place or pulling to get at your kid (i.e. not at heel and well-behaved because the owner isn't doing their job), give them space and find a better match.

Also? If the owner says "yes", please stay within arm's reach of your kid. It's my job to make sure my dog is well-behaved (or away from your kid so it's not an issue). It's your job to make sure your kid is well-behaved. My dog isn't going to watch your kid for you while you check your phone. Making sure your child is "dog safe" is just as important as making sure my dog is kid-friendly, so please use your petting time to help your child practice good pet manners (see upthread re: how this should look).