Reply to How old to not need after school care?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our neighbor's kid has done it since age 7.5 - good kid who seems comfortable, but seems very inadvisable. I agree with PPs who says doing this regular in middle school is a no-no (I was a kid who was good, but got in trouble with this). Maybe high school, and even then, require some type of activity many times per week?[/quote]

If my typically-developing middle school kids, nearly a teenager, can't safely stay home on their own for an hour or two after school, or if my high schoolers who will be off at college living completely independently within a few years require special adult-supervised activities to keep themselves out of trouble after school, I will feel that I have totally failed as a parent.

Are you serious?

When do these kids ever get a chance to learn, develop, and practice independence? Surely not out of the blue at 18...[/quote]

NP here. Not clear how leaving child unattended helps them. One can foster independent thinking and behavior even when you are there. In my opinion, better when you are there. While growing up and in my adulthood, the kids i've met who have been the most aggressive and predatory even have been kids without adult supervision. So even though afterschool time is considered brief in an adult's viewpoint, in a child's eyes it is a half of a school day of time where they are unguided. Sure, it might work fine for some 7th and 8th graders, but just because Maryland allows it for 1.5 hours for 8 year olds doesn't mean it is a good idea or advisable.  I think 8 year olds left alone come unravelled, starved with loneliness. Those are the kids who develop a distorted social image. Im not talking about occasionally, i mean chronically of course. I clearly remember those being the kids who start mistreating other kids.  We don't have to isolate them to teach them independent thought and action. Just another viewpoint.[/quote]

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