Reply to Wits end with 8 year old daughter- ADD or NMA (needs more attention)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^Me again. And I'm guilty of the asking 11x to do something thing. But I notice, when it gets that far, it doesn't mean she's not paying attention, it means I'M not paying attention. I'm asking her while multitasking, or I'm feeling tired/lazy and don't want to actually enforce the consequences, etc, etc.[/quote]

Yes I am stretched thin and maybe I don't handle discipline well - good point- but I can say she doesn't seem to be phased by punishment - part of the frustration.
    If she doesn't put her shoes away, what should I do? If she doesn't take her shower after asking her three times ( last night's fight) what do I do? Yelling or taking away iPad doesn't work-- how do I change her behavior?
[/quote]

At 8. would be reasonable that you still help her take a shower. [/quote]

At 8, she should be able to turn shower on, test the temperature and get in. I think it is fine to get help with her hair, but at this age she should be able to handle the majority of a shower.

That said, my youngest is on the immature side of normal. OP, it sounds like you have one that is on the mature side of normal (your 12 year old), and one immature child. It is hard not to compare the two, and expect behaviors of your youngest that you had/have from your oldest.

Parent the child you have. If you asked her once to get in the shower (from afar, I know how this works) and she doesn't, GO and "help" her get in. I would bet this is a majority of your problem. She clearly can't handle you asking while you are distracted doing something else. PAY attention to your daughter. Stop parenting from 20 feet away. She's distracted, you are distracted. Walk up to her and tell her it is time for a shower.  In the morning, set the iPad for time. 2 minutes for teeth, one minute to wash her face, 5 minutes for clothes (or whatever).

You have to teach her these things - which can be tough when you have a kid that did a lot on their own.  I understand, I really do. There is a lot my oldest does naturally that I have to walk my youngest through step by step.[/quote]

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