Reply to At what point can you cut an inlaw out of your life?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My advice, don't tell Father in law you're not seeing him. But come up with your legitimate reasons for not doing so.  Sorry gramps, not today. Gotta wash my hair.[/quote]

I agree with this.  But, I'll add that I think you need to discuss this with a relationship counselor.  Even though you wouldn't be forbidding your kids to see their grandfather, it's likely you or your DH will become resentful.  It's also likely that you will come under pressure when there's a milestone/special event to suck it up and visit ILs or allow them to visit you.  At least that's my experience.

My MIL/FIL were nice.  It was the extended family that was so problematic.  We'd gone to counseling over it but didn't really resolve the issue other than to get an agreement that I wouldn't have to go to any event where his extended family was present.  He was welcome to take the kids but I wouldn't go.  It worked for a while but as the kids got older, they started asking why I didn't go.  We were able to make inane excuses for a while but then they realized something was off.  I was also getting pressure to invite extended family to milestone events.  It ended up causing problems between DH and I and back to counseling we went.

In the end, DH had to call his family on their shitty behavior.  They extended an olive branch - which I accepted.  In the end, most of them behaved themselves.  Those that didn't, DH cut off.  I still don't like them but as long as they're civil, they'll have a relationship with my DH and our kids.[/quote]

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