Reply to Sister's husband has $0 in college fund for my nephews

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Reply to "Sister's husband has $0 in college fund for my nephews - tells me to "back off""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds like you should back off until the kids are adults and then they can ask you for help if they want it. [/quote]

Until the kids are 18, you can make offers to assist...[/quote]

18 is far too late to make much of a difference.

Kids would love to go to college and get away from home and step-father. But again, the household is ignorant about how to become prepared.[/quote]

PP who wrote "until the kids are 18..."

As the mom of teens, I STRONGLY disagree with this. 18 is not at all too late to make a difference. I strongly suggest you readjust your thinking.

Most kids in the US go to college without having taken SAT prep courses. Most kids become prepared for college simply by attending high school and doing their school work. You can help them with that by showing an interest in what they are studying, encouraging them to work hard, and talking with them about their plans for the future. You can ask them if they have access to SAT study guides, ask if they have signed up for testing dates, ask if they are working with their guidance counselors. You can be emotionally supportive even if not financially supportive at this time.

I get the sense from your posts that you have a notion these kids need to get into top colleges or they will end up deadbeats. That is absolutely false. I also have a sense that you are thinking you will pay for top colleges or not at all. That is a terrible mistake IMO. If they don't have the grades/test scores to get to a top college, they can get solid educations at South Podunk State. And you can help with that. If they get to South Podunk State and realize they really want to be at Ivy U, they can work towards transferring. You can help with that. And if the kids aren't prepared for college at 18, they can get prepared by going to community college and then hopefully on to a 4-year degree. You can help with that.

MOST kids in the US do not go "away" to college, they go to colleges within an hour of home. Do not let perfect (in your opinion) be the enemy of good, or even the enemy of better than nothing.[/quote]

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