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[quote=Anonymous]I agree it's totally fine to set some ground rules. Just do so kindly, and be a fun and indulgent aunt in other areas. At this point, you might need to call them all together (including SIL) and say 'hey, I should have thought about this earlier, and apologize for not doing so, but I haven't really thought much about our standard house rules before since it's only been DH and I and we were generally on the same page already. For the rest of your visit, I'd really appreciate it if you (1) only ate food in the lichen and dining room, (2) respected the nice furniture and didn't roughhouse or jump on the couch or run in the dining room. If you want to run around and play, the den or the backyard are the best places for that."

After laying down the rules, you can redirect behaviors as you see them without feeling bad. Maybe casually apologized to SIL about not being used to kids, say you hope your rules are okay, and is there anything that would help them go over well with her kids (basically, be nice about it and don't make it seem like you are judging her parenting).

I think it's totally natural to be hesitant to correct other people's kids if you don't have your own, but most of us who've had them for awhile yet used to it. most kids are respectful of rules once they are laid out, especially if you don't just say 'no' but also give them an outlet for behavior that is okay. My rules for my kids, and visitors, is that food is only okay in the kitchen or dining room and if they are playing 'crazy' they need to take it to our playroom or outside.[/quote]

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