Reply to Talk to me about your journey from SAHM to divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If it takes me a long time to find a job, how do I move out? We have one child.[/quote]

You stay until you find the job. It isn't ideal but that's reality. Highly doubtful he will move out and pay for wherever you are living, so you find a job, then a place to live and tell him your plan.[/quote]

Unless you or your kids are in danger, it may not be a good idea to move out of the house.  Talk to your attorney.   This is almost always bad advice.  It's also often better to wait until after the divorce to get a job.  Again, your attorney should be the only one giving you advise.  [/quote]

Well unless she can afford the mortgage at some point she is going to have to move. And waiting to get a job is just going to screw her. Very few people get spousal support these days so she will end up divorced with no income. With kids it takes a year to divorce in Virginia. She needs a job. [/quote]

In no state is the divorce final until you've agreed how to split the assets, which probably include a house and pension(s) and very likely include more assets. The division is often 50-50 but that's not automatic; there has to be agreement on this. So the divorce won't be final after a year unless you really wrap things up quickly.

Also, lots of people get spousal support. If the non-custodial parent has a higher income, he or she is going going to be giving child support to the custodial parent. Even if custody is split and one parent has a higher income, the higher earning ex-spouse is probably going to be paying child support to the lower income parent. In Maryland at least (don't know about VA) you can make a case for maintaining the house until the kids turn 18 and, depending on your income from your new job, he's going to have to contribute some or a lot of this. He can't force a sale until the youngest has turned 18 (again in MD). I know several women who have versions of this arrangement, or had it until the kids turn 18. You have to be willing to maintain the house on your own, though, in terms of letting the plumber in the door and so on, although again your ex will need to share the plumbing bill.

But talk to your attorney, don't listen to us randos on DCUM. Our suggestions should probably give you an idea of what questions to ask, but not more.

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This is an upper middle class result.[/quote]

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