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[quote=Anonymous]The examples you gave don't seem that out of the ordinary for girls that age, actually.  They often do stuff like the "Just ask her!!" or the "I texted you five times -- why didn't you answer?"  They are still learning social skills and don't have much perspective.

That said, if your daughter is saying she's sad about being around her, that seems like something bigger is going on.  I agree with the PP that said the daughter should (nicely) be honest with her.  Say something like "It makes me uncomfortable when you pressure me to do things my mom doesn't allow.  I'd rather not have playdates with you for a while."
I think the whole avoidance and lying thing is just likely to make things worse, and it feeds the big problem in this age group -- the girls are all a little paranoid that they are being frozen out or dissed (I know that's not the current word, but I can't think of a better one) by the other girls, which exacerbates the problem of them being clingly, or snubbing other girls.  
My daughter has definitely had friends that sort of just stopped responding to her without giving her a reason why, and it is incredibly frustrating as a parent to try to figure out what the root cause is, so we can try to address it.  It's particularly frustrating when the other girl keep saying that she wants to be friends, but then always has some excuse for why she's not available.  We had that happen and it was really unclear whether the girl's mother just had her way over-scheduled, or whether the girl didn't like my daughter anymore, or whether there was something else going on.  I finally insisted my daughter move on, but it was confusing for her because, from her perspective, the other girl kept saying that she wanted to be friends and wanted to hang out.  [/quote]

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