Reply to New boyfriend, has a child he never sees.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A OP here. I meant to add this.... And I'm NOT making excuses for him or anyone like him,.. But 21 year old guys are idiots.  Still immature, still selfish, still scared. I can see how he immaturity would pave way to allowing that distance to build and build... Then all of a sudden that's the 'norm'. He has had 2 serious girlfriends before me, wondering if they were as concerned as me. [/quote]

So I guess you're the kind of woman who seeks to make excuses for this behavior.

Two things for you to ponder as you try to dismiss this man's moral blindspot. First, presumably the child's mother was also young, immature, selfish, scared. Yet somehow she managed to step up. Second, BF is no longer 21. What's his excuse for being a deadbeat father now?[/quote]

I agree with this.  At 32 he should know better.  His only saving grace is that he financially contributes.  I can understand not being able to physically see her often b/c of the distance, but he could call, Skype, email, send letters, etc.

I've known a lot of grown men with children they don't know and blame the difficult ex.  Men in their 30s, 40s, 50s and even older who are intelligent, have good jobs, stable incomes etc.  Yet they can't grow up enough to get over their dislike and sometimes hatred of the dreaded ex.  Yeah, your relationship may have ended badly, but you still have a kid.  They always make excuses too, "My kid would want nothing to do with me..."  etc.  Yeah, maybe but you need to try--again and again.  This is the ultimate in selfishness.  [/quote]

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