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[quote=Anonymous]OP - I am a slow burn as well, which I HATE.  My asshole neighbor made a comment about how she hopes I never get hired for a job (I just moved here so I had to resign from my old job) so I can continue handling some problems with our neighborhood association.  People who heard the comment were aghast (particularly because she considers herself to be a very important person and it was clear she loved having someone deal with issues that concerned her), but I laughed it off.  A few hours later I chewed over and realized how bitchy and horrible it sounded.  I can't stand the woman now and avoid her fat ass, while she seemingly thinks we're friends.  I wish I could have heard the bitchiness for what it was right away and just reacted to it then instead of being angry about it later.  I tell myself "you can't let someone live in your brain rent-free" and that helps a lot.

As for your inlaws, I would write them an email and say "glad we had this chat. I'll be happy to do X and Y and I would appreciate it if you did Q and Z to improve our relationship.  Besides, once you have kids you'll be in the drivers seat.  Don't let them take up residence in your brain and poison you with their negativity and smugness![/quote]

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