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Tweens and Teens
Reply to "How do you keep kids out of trouble?"
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[quote=Anonymous]Keep them busy. Keep them with good friends. Know their friends (my kids have been in the same school for 10 years so we know the parents and the kids. I drive to and from their activities so I spend time with parents of those friends.). Remind them that they can still have fun safely. Personal preference that I do not drink though my husband does so they see that adults can have a good time with and without alcohol. Talk - talk - talk. Tell them your expectations. Tell them you know it's hard. It may seem like it goes in one ear but sometimes it sticks! Help them devise strategies to get out of situations (my DD know a trigger phrase to say when asking permission that clues me in that they really don't want to do something. I have promised to be the bad guy and squash it without causing a scene. I never condone lying but I have told them I will do anything to help them out of a situation gracefully because I know saving face is important for a teenager). We talk a lot in the car driving to activities. It's interesting that not having eye contact helps them open up. We talk about situations (usually involving other kids - I think my DDs test me that way) and I offer my opinion without being too judgmental. We talk a lot about self respect and self control when it comes to guys. We are a practicing religious family which shapes many outlooks and hopefully helps them develop their own values. School comes first because they know a solid education is the start of everything. They are increasingly self-motivated because they want to do well, not because I want them too. And most of all I remind them of how much they have to lose - that they have such good lives with good opportunities, good friends and good chances for success. All of that can be lost with bad choices - kicked off a team, grades that will keep them from the caliber school they want, physical choices that will ruin the training they've done in their activities, moral choices that affect their futures . . . 16 and 18 and so far so good!![/quote]
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