Reply to S/O Is it possible to have a happy family if you don't come from one?

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[quote=Anonymous]Yes, OP, I do believe it is possible, but it is very hard work.  My DH and I both come from extremely dysfunctional families of origin and our marriage hit rock bottom when our first child was born. We both got into individual therapy and still go these many years later.  Not sure if we will ever be done with therapy but we've accepted that it is simply necessary for the well-being of our family.  We also did marriage counseling which was useful but actually made us realize that it was more important for us to individually heal ourselves first, and the marriage would improve in turn.

I understand what you mean about how unfair it feels.  In the most intense times in my therapy when I was coming to terms with the things I never had and still longed for as an adult, I spent a lot of time crying and just having to "process" all of that grief that I had unconsciously carried inside of me for three decades.  It was incredibly painful.  Eventually, though, the weight started to lift for me and I believe it can for you, too.  It was absolutely worth it and today I am freer than I ever thought was possible.  Keep at it, OP.  Best wishes to you and your family.[/quote]

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