Reply to S/O Is it possible to have a happy family if you don't come from one?

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[quote=Anonymous]It's hard work, but it's possible. I'm from a dysfunctional family and so far haven't had to start saving for my kids' future therapy yet :lol:

There's a lot of narcissism, codependency, entitlement, immaturity, judgement, narrow-mindedness, effed world views and some other issues in my close family and several generations back. Even before having kids, I worked very hard to not let myself fall into those same patterns. Now I can see my kids as a mirror for my behavior and it keeps me very grounded in my goal to raise them right and give them a happy background.

This is why sayings like “the apple doesn't fall far from the tree” or people telling me that I “really remind them of my mother” make me cringe. I realize they're just seeing the happy front my mother puts up and have no idea what it was like growing up with her. But it's always a reminder to check myself and make sure I don't follow her lead.

It does make me wonder sometimes why my mother didn't seek to change her behavior from how her own mother treated her. I can't imagine wanting or even allowing my children to grow up with parents like I did. [/quote]

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