Reply to S/O Is it possible to have a happy family if you don't come from one?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH and I have just hit rock bottom. We both have deep family of origin issues - alcoholism and general abuse/control on his side, and sexual, physical, emotional abuse, narcissism, and alcoholism on mine - and I want to be hopeful we can transcend these legacies. I'm in Al-Anon and AA, DH is starting AA and SA, we are both in individual counseling and will begin marriage counseling next week. We are willing to do the work.

If both partners come from dysfunctional backgrounds, is it possible for them to create a functional, happy family for their own children?[/quote]

Yes.  I have 17 years in Al-Anon, Husband has 17 years in AA.  All these years later, we still go to two or three meetings a week.  We both grew up in messed up, married messed up people, and had two babies together. If you have never known anything but messed up, you don't know that messed up is messed up.  
 We have found the role modelling on how to live life in a not so messed up way in AA and Al-Anon.  Change doesn't happen overnight though.  But the wonderful thing about 12 step programs is you can keep coming back for years and years and years.  You don't ever have to graduate.  And you don't have to fill out any insurance forms to attend. 
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