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[quote=Anonymous]PP here...I'm glad you are in couples therapy. 
In my marriage we had the pre-kids phase which was largely conflict-free (or seemingly so), then the immediate post-kids time which was hell (made far worse by my post-partum depression), and then I got treatment and went to personal therapy and things improved a lot. But there were still issues keeping me from feeling close to my DH--problems that we were not talking about. And he was still angry at me and not trusting me since I had been so out of control and awful. So we went to couples therapy. We didn't like the first therapist and after a few months switched to another.

I feel like we are now really in a new phase of our marriage, having to explore what it is like to be married for so long with kids and figure out how to maintain a connection in mid-life. I think both my DH and I love each other and have good intentions and are committed to making it work. We also just plain like each other. And I think he is a good dad. Even with all those positives, though, passion doesn't miraculously appear all the time. It comes and goes for sure.
 
The book Passionate Marriage made me realize how I was holding back from real intimacy.
The book Can Love Last made me realize these issues we have are very, very common. 
And the Peter Kraemer book just plain gave me a lot to think about in general.
 
Over the last two years my DH and I have gone from having zero sex (we were in a sexless marriage for awhile) to having it every few weeks. But when we do it now, it's pretty passionate. So I have been able to get my passion back, but, you know, it didn't just magically reappear. And it's different than it was back in my 20s. [/quote]

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