Reply to Help me blend our family

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[quote=Anonymous]As member of a blended family that didn't work out, here's what NOT to do:

-Don't just expect that they will get along or that the older child is ok with the new circumstances.  You will have to facilitate things a bit. I'm willing to bet that a lot of this is due to the changing family circumstances.  Have you talked with the 9yo about all of the changes?  Maybe s/he is having feelings about the upcoming wedding and everyone living together and is taking it out on the 3yo.  It's all normal, but you as the parent should be sensitive to this -- not just now, but as the kids grow, too.

-Is there any favoritism going on? Are you unconsciously favoring your child at the expense of the other? Is your fiancee doing the same with hers? It could be anything from how the kids get disciplined to paying more attention to one child over the other.  Kids pick up on this and favoring your own child over your step-children happens a lot in blended families.

-As PPs have said, spend one-on-one time with both kids and create new family traditions.

It's good that you're aware of the dynamics and are looking for ways to make your family work!  [/quote]

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