Reply to How did you persuade your spouse they needed to get treated for their ADHD? Plus other issues.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"offer him the choice of career coach, meds, or marriage counseling. It sounds like he is rejecting all of your ideas, so you have to make it clear that the status quo cannot continue. If you have to go nuclear by not covering for him, do it now before the job search needs to begin"

This is my vote. There is no use screwing around. You need to figure out if he is willing to change anything (doesn't sound like it), and if not if you're willing to live with it or leave.[/quote]

15:37 here.  This was me exactly.

DH called it a "threat."  I told him it wasn't a threat, it was a fact - I had no tolerance left, and no motivation to stay any longer.  He could either work with me to improve the situation, or I would leave.  I meant it, and I think he knew that.[/quote]

Same here.  Not a threat, not an ultimatum but a fact.  I couldn't - wouldn't - continue to live the way we were living.  Since I can only control what I do, he needed to decide what he was going to do.  I didn't relish the idea of sharing physical custody but it was better for our kid that they have one healthy home rather than the unhealthy one we were all living in.  Surprisingly, DH stepped up.  It's not been perfect and there's been some backsliding on occasion but as long as he's willing (and does) seek treatment, I'll work with him.  I would not tolerate your situation.  I'll put up with some 'unmindful' stuff but not anything that impacts our mental health.[/quote]

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