Reply to Help! Dating question: are my expectations wrong?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm your age and it probably takes me about 5 dates to get comfortable with a house visit on average. I kiss on the second date if there's chemistry. Not hard and fast rules but guys who hint at coming over early on usually turn me off.[/quote]

+1.  I met you online for chrissakes.  I really don't know you at all.  After two dates, you could be a nice guy or you could be an axe murderer who can hold it together for a few days; I'm still not sure which.  I'm not going over to your house for dinner and making out on date 3.  It's not safe for me.  I'm not even all that comfortable by date 5 at your house, but YMMV.

Pre-online dating, I met you thru something - work, friends, softball, whatever.  If I didn't know you, I met you in a way that I knew someone who knew someone who knew you.  And I could get some comfort from the fact that someone in that chain would alert me if you were trouble.

Now all I can do is read your profile, listen to what you tell me about yourself and Google you later to see if you're lying.  That still doesn't tell me much about whether you're a safe guy or not.

Think about it.

Don't be one of those creepy guys whose always pushing for sex, and then labeling her if she doesn't want to jump you.

You might know you're safe, but to me, given the past 30 years of my life, I've learned that sometimes guys I thought were "nice" or "safe" upon first meeting were actually guys who were sexist or harassed me or pushed me to engage in sexual activity I didn't want.

Respect my boundaries, don't test them.

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