Reply to My Daughter's Reactions

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[quote=Anonymous]If I had a penny for every time a teacher (or even therapists) have told me DD had social anxiety and refuses to show what she knows because others don;t.... Those words transformed in "some kids just don;t get math" by 3rd grade, then "she should know better" in 4th grade to finally, "she's falling behind in 5th. All along, we soldiered on with an ADHD diagnostic and meds that did not seem to greatly help. The last (private) therapist we talked to finally directed us to take an actual ASD test. Her point: that feeling of "unauthenticity", the constant scanning to see what others do, the recoiling in fear when put on a spot -- to the point of withdrawing from learning -- they are often how Asperger manifests itself in girls. They are using their friends as social guidance -- a very damaging habit as they get into their teen years. I'm waiting for the result.

Funny bit. Now that I have learned more about this issue, forced by circumstances, I started to realize that my own mother (all of 82 now) is actually very similar to my daughter. All her quirks that used to drive us nuts are starting to make sense: the swing between being the social butterfly and hiding from the world, the hyperfocus on her career, her detachment from us kids, yet her intense love -- it all is making some more sense when I look at it this way.

Good part, she has had a great live, with a stable family, a husband who adores her and fairly successful children. She had a career in technology at a time when few women did. And she somehow managed to pass her quirks as a string personality, rather than weaknesses. And yes, as I was discussing with her my daughter's school challenges, she copped to having had extremely similar experiences in school...[/quote]

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