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Reply to "My MS DS explodes when we say "No""

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[quote=Anonymous]How is he when you go to stores where it's unlikely he will want anything, like a lamp store?

Do you stick to your shopping lists, or do you deviate and add things for yourself? Just guessing, but I'm betting any deviation makes him feel like you'll get whatever you want for you, but what he wants (or even what he feels like he needs) isn't important.

Have you given him his own money? It doesn't even need to be money he earns. You could give him $5 a week that's specifically for treats and trinkets, and the rule is you don't buy him any, he buys what he wants himself. This often works because sometimes parents will get a treat for a child and it's not what that child would have purchased himself. The parent feels like they got him a treat, but the child doesn't feel like he got a treat.

Does he have healthy, appropriate ways of displaying he is upset or angry? He can say he is very mad at you, disappointed in the situation, but he cannot call names.

In my experience, points systems where you don't take back points are sometimes necessary for children who are really struggling. If they can lose points, they will never gain enough points to get the reward, which makes the point system absolutely useless and they will stop trying.[/quote]

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