Reply to Complicated feelings cleaning out a parent's house

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I am not asking people to Monday morning quarterback this.  I am asking about feelings as others have been through similar situations.  I was not in charge.  I did what the lead sister wanted to keep the peace.  Her plan did not work out all the way hence the dumping. She was trying to make some money for my mom as many items still had tags or were new in the box.  She would have been upset at the loss of potential revenue if we had gone my way and donated everything.  Please don't tell me what we could have done.  And for the record, estate sale companies will not come out just because you want to have a sale.  When I helped my inlaws who had pricey stuff and a lot of it (I thought) we had two companies come out and neither would accept the job because there was not enough profit in it for them.  The person who posted about decision fatigue nailed it.  After a while you just throw up your hands.[/quote]

DO NOT FEEL BAD and do not listen to the stupid yammer about what you should have done. These people have NO IDEA what it is like to empty a gigantic house full of 30 or 40 years of "stuff" - especially if the house is out of town and you need to get it done so you can get back to your life. I've been there and done that, and in my case, my siblings wouldn't help so it was ALL ME. Believe me, IT SUCKED. My main emotion was exhaustion combined with irritation that she had kept so much crap.

I took what I could to Goodwill. I sold some furniture via a consignment store. But a great deal of it simply had to go in the trash. I had to get over my feelings of "oh too bad if I had more time I would have done something other than toss that stuff".

The big problem in her house was that her finances were in terrible shape and she had tons and tons of "paperwork" associated with her personal and business life, and I had to look at EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF PAPER in order to determine whether to keep it or toss it (and often the paperwork alerted me to another problem I didn't even know about).

And oh, did I mention that she not only had a three story house but also four different storage units full of crap she hadn't looked at in decades? Why the HELL are you paying for this, mom???

I feel your pain, OP. I know exactly where you were. Everyone who hasn't been there, shaddap.[/quote]

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