Reply to Clothing for school and kids with social issues

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I guess I'm in the minority because I'm a parent of a SN child and I happen to think OP has a point. I grew up "poor" and I have a close family member with ASD. I know that first hand that clothing/hygiene/appearance goes a long way and as early as the second grade.

I make sure that I observe what the other boys wear and I make sure that I have it in a way that my DS will wear. I do "die on the hill" of regular showers and nail clipping and hair cuts. It's important for social acceptance.

I'm not saying go out and spend a bunch of money on unaffordable name brands-- we have a lot plain tees and a few of the name brands to put on once or twice a week. Athletic pants are big for elementary school boys and happen to be way more comfortable for sensory issues.

I think the OP's viewpoint is valid- she's in the school and sees what other kids respond to positively/negatively on a daily basis. I get being defensive. I have battles over nail clipping and hair cuts- I have to keep stain remover so my sin doesn't destroy his clothes and I'm a regular at the school lost and found.... But still, part of social skills is noticing and responding to norms. This stuff does matter. [/quote]

I think we are all taking offense at the condescension.  OP is speaking to us as if we don't realize how our kids appear to others in the mainstream and then further advocating that we prioritize a more mainstream appearance with kids are see sensory challenged, extremely inflexible, and unable to internalize the social importance of appearance enough to make it a motivating factor.  When my HFA DS reached puberty, I had to continually send her back to her room to use deodorant.  Finally, I had to compromise  between letting her have her aesthetic and comfort choices (sweatpants, crocs, etc.) and insisting on good hygiene for the sake of civility (teeth, body odor), which effects other people.  Body odor and unwashed hair affects others; sweatpants do not.  When OP lumps them all together, she is  saying that if we just made the effort to make our SN kids look more "normal" then other kids wouldn't tease them.  Unbelievable that she is a Special Ed teacher.[/quote]

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