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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is not so an SN issue.  There are grandparents who really want to be involved and those who don't.  Reading about all the other unhelpful ones online makes me feel better about my own situation.[/quote]

It is an SN issue when the grandparents treat every other grandchild completely differently. [/quote]

My SN child is the last grandchild.  Yes, she does get grandparented differently.  I think my parents are out of steam.  If I feel they are acting out of favoritism and stereotyping on special needs, I call them on it.  But if it's just their age and energy, I try to give them the benefit of the doubt.  You talked about making a special day for each grandchild on their birthday and taking them out to eat (or something like that).  OP, that's very hard for elderly people when a child has special needs.  Give them a break.  My parents have never been alone with my SN child, never and I wouldn't expect them to.  And they've had many overnights with their other grandchildren.  It's so much more than a question of favoritism.  I have to say I think you are fighting a battle that comes from your projected feelings here.  I understand you want your child to be treated fairly and loved as much as other grandchildren but you've got to let them show that in their own way.  Having each grandchild treated identically may not be in your SN child's best interests.  Is this day out at a restaurant really so important to the SN child?[/quote]

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