Reply to Anyone's HFA ASD kid play team sports and how's it going?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again. I'm really encouraged by how well your DCs are doing with their sports and other activities. I'm thinking I will try to steer DS towards things like martial arts, track, swimming, etc. or the more inclusive groups like the hockey team. And fencing! I didn't even know younger kids could do that. It's such an elegant sport and I think DH would be thrilled if DS took up fencing.

One other question for those of you who had your DCs in team sports like soccer and then took them out as they got older. How did your DCs take it?

DC is a very active and social kid (in his own way) and loves being with his schoolmates. Last fall, I tried to gently suggest he move to a different sport but he almost cried at the idea and begged me to let him go to soccer because all his friends were signing up.

The practices are fine but on the field during the games the ball will just fly by him and he'll just kind of stand there. He'll maybe touch the ball once during a whole game. The friends haven't complained but it probably only a matter of time before they do. It's very competitive around here and I want to set him up to feel good about himself! Thank you everyone for giving me so many ideas and so much hope.[/quote]

OP- I know you asked about kids with HFA. My DS does not have HFA, but he does have ADHD and a disability in social language pragmatics. It can create similar (not identical issues). Martial arts worked for us and summer swim team has been reasonably successful.

Team sports were an issue because of *exactly* what you described above (balls flying by, slower physical processing, etc.).

Honestly, after near anxiety attacks before soccer games and practices where the kids were frustrated with DS, he was relieved when I said "we're done." It hurt him socially (he's now in 3rd) because he's far behind the other boys in terms of skill and coordination. Lack of sports + ADHD/social issues means he is an unpopular kid at school. Being by far the worst soccer player on a rec team meant that he was angering team mates and feeling anxious. We had to choose between the two.

*If* you go the martial arts route, try to make it a community. After many years, my son has made friends in taekwondo that he enjoys socializing with before class. He does tournaments with some success-- so, it's a "real" sport, not just a class or activity. Swim team is the same way- DS pals around with the team in the summer, we have meets, and it becomes a big part of our life for a few months.

My point is that whatever you do, make sure that it's a social outlet and that there is competition (meets, tournaments)- not just a class or activity. The social and the competition (to show the results of hard work) are the real benefit of any sport.

[/quote]

I understand where this perspective is coming from, but have found that my aspie kid has such anxiety that he won't pursue a social outlet that involves competitions, i.e., he'll go to tennis class but doesn't like competitive matches.  So, we have let him practice to at least get some exercise and be around other kids, but giving him an out from the competition aspect is the only thing that has worked for us.  Not ideal, but it's what we're working with for now.[/quote]

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