Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I'm really encouraged by how well your DCs are doing with their sports and other activities. I'm thinking I will try to steer DS towards things like martial arts, track, swimming, etc. or the more inclusive groups like the hockey team. And fencing! I didn't even know younger kids could do that. It's such an elegant sport and I think DH would be thrilled if DS took up fencing.

One other question for those of you who had your DCs in team sports like soccer and then took them out as they got older. How did your DCs take it?

DC is a very active and social kid (in his own way) and loves being with his schoolmates. Last fall, I tried to gently suggest he move to a different sport but he almost cried at the idea and begged me to let him go to soccer because all his friends were signing up.

The practices are fine but on the field during the games the ball will just fly by him and he'll just kind of stand there. He'll maybe touch the ball once during a whole game. The friends haven't complained but it probably only a matter of time before they do. It's very competitive around here and I want to set him up to feel good about himself! Thank you everyone for giving me so many ideas and so much hope.

OP- I know you asked about kids with HFA. My DS does not have HFA, but he does have ADHD and a disability in social language pragmatics. It can create similar (not identical issues). Martial arts worked for us and summer swim team has been reasonably successful.

Team sports were an issue because of *exactly* what you described above (balls flying by, slower physical processing, etc.).

Honestly, after near anxiety attacks before soccer games and practices where the kids were frustrated with DS, he was relieved when I said "we're done." It hurt him socially (he's now in 3rd) because he's far behind the other boys in terms of skill and coordination. Lack of sports + ADHD/social issues means he is an unpopular kid at school. Being by far the worst soccer player on a rec team meant that he was angering team mates and feeling anxious. We had to choose between the two.

*If* you go the martial arts route, try to make it a community. After many years, my son has made friends in taekwondo that he enjoys socializing with before class. He does tournaments with some success-- so, it's a "real" sport, not just a class or activity. Swim team is the same way- DS pals around with the team in the summer, we have meets, and it becomes a big part of our life for a few months.

My point is that whatever you do, make sure that it's a social outlet and that there is competition (meets, tournaments)- not just a class or activity. The social and the competition (to show the results of hard work) are the real benefit of any sport.

Anonymous wrote:No organized team sports for our DS either. He likes active playground time and in fact playing with others on the playground, but zero interest in soccer, baseball, tennis, swim team etc. He enjoys climbing centers, trampoline parks, and riding bikes.

PP, would love some chess camp / workshop suggestions!

Anonymous wrote:DC Chess Center http://www.chessctr.org/index.php

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I'm really encouraged by how well your DCs are doing with their sports and other activities. I'm thinking I will try to steer DS towards things like martial arts, track, swimming, etc. or the more inclusive groups like the hockey team. And fencing! I didn't even know younger kids could do that. It's such an elegant sport and I think DH would be thrilled if DS took up fencing.

One other question for those of you who had your DCs in team sports like soccer and then took them out as they got older. How did your DCs take it?

DC is a very active and social kid (in his own way) and loves being with his schoolmates. Last fall, I tried to gently suggest he move to a different sport but he almost cried at the idea and begged me to let him go to soccer because all his friends were signing up.

The practices are fine but on the field during the games the ball will just fly by him and he'll just kind of stand there. He'll maybe touch the ball once during a whole game. The friends haven't complained but it probably only a matter of time before they do. It's very competitive around here and I want to set him up to feel good about himself! Thank you everyone for giving me so many ideas and so much hope.

Anonymous wrote:I have an almost 14 year old with severe ADHD. He has been successful at Chess Club, gymnastics and martial arts. Chess club is in the morning so his medication is in full effect. For gymnastics, he gets a booster dose of medication due to the danger that injuries could result with impulsiveness and inattentiveness. Still, it has been hard and the coaches and other kids get frustrated with him and I have to intervene regularly. Fortunately, he has the personality to handle their frustration. Age and maturity have helped. Also, he has stayed at a lower level so that he can train with a particular coach who is interested in doing a good job with him and regularly seeks my feedback as to how to work with him. (I buy her chocolate and flowers periodically - she's wonderful). As for martial arts, I think he's successful because of the Master. The Master has a lot of patience with him, loves him and has him demonstrate his tumbling skills to the class, which impress the class and has the effect of making them more tolerant of him.

I have an active NT kid and I will say that it is far more work for me to keep my son successful in activities and sports. But, I have seen a huge benefit in terms of his organization and independence.

Anonymous wrote:Mom of chess kid again. I think as long as your child enjoys the team, you can keep him there.

My son with ASD is 8 too as is his best friend who is also on the spectrum and one thing I noticed as the kids get older is that "they don't get passed the ball" and are literally standing around for most of the game. The other kids don't complain but the kids with lesser skills are tolerated more than anything. Just something to watch out for and maybe time to find another team that is a better "fit".