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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I love how everyone wants to ascribe to "morality", all the while happily ruining a family unit, and changing people's lives for their own benefit.

Let it be. Your nephew may or not be ready for half siblings and cousins and the whole lot of it, after living a differs life. Sounds like he is an adult now. Curiously is one thing (asking about people), but suddenly having a family is another.

If you want him in your life, and in your children's lives, that's tiur choice. You're turning "the Secret" into a bigger deal than it is. Tell everyone he is a very close / special family friend. The details don't matter, really, to the relationship, unless it's ONLY important tony to have a relationship because of it. In that case, that's sad for you, because blood or no blood, certain people can play central positions in the concept of "family".

You sound like a nosy nelly/ busybody, OP. This isn't your place to "fix" things. It makes no bearing on the already existing relationships, you're just trying to be "more moral" or enjoying scooping everyone. This actually changes other people's lives. Get over yourself. [/quote]
I agree that it is not OP's place to try to "make" her brother do the right thing, (and, yes, there is a RIGHT thing here). HOWEVER, no way in hell someone is going to make me lie to my kids and have them participate in a family secret.  I would not say hey Uncle Darryl had an extramarital affair and cousin Bobby is the result. But if they ask, Yea, Uncle Darryl is Bobby's son. The brother's secrets are for him to keep, do not ask others to participate. I feel so sorry for the Op's nephew.  Imagine living  life   as a shameful secret. I have a friend who is in her forties and her family still lies about who her parents are. They say the grandad is her dad and her dad is her brother.
My friend lives with a broken heart.[/quote]

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