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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I disagree with pp. your son is going to call you worse things than stupid over the course of childhood and the teen years.

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Maybe. Maybe not.

A lot depends on how these things are handled early on. If you expect/tolerate it now, it's only going to get worse. If you make it clear - every single time - in words and deeds that "we do not talk to each other that way in our family," you have a better chance of having a kind and respectful home down the line.

Also, "stupid" is about the worst insult a six year old knows. At least I hope so. Just because older kids can come up with worse names doesn't mean You should tolerate a six year old calling his parent "stupid".

OP: see the punishment through to the end.

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I still think the punishment was too harsh. I also have a kid who is not inclined to cooperate, and who can be very difficult. He rarely calls names, but that's because he gets no reaction when he does it. When I react to things, he does them more often. If I took away a toy for a week for small things like this (in the scheme of things, it's small), we would be well on our way to a spiral of negative attention because out of sight isn't always out of mind, and the behavior would escalate. It sounds like it worked for OP, but it wouldn't work for all kids. [/quote][/quote]

Yes, I can see that. The "right" response and consequence really does depend on the individual kid. I can see how things would only spiral down in your case. Ignoring it from the start makes more sense.

And I do agree that a week is too long. Good learning for next time. But follow through and consistency are key.  It's one thing to admit immediately after you over-reacted and made a mistake by saying a week. I think that models thoughtfulness and how to correct a mistake rather than backing yourself into a corner. But only if it's soon after.

We've learned that whole "earning back" a privilege thing is a disaster in our house. Our version of "spiraling down" came at this point - a million annoying variations of "have I done enough to get it back now?" and eventually, a dismissive, "It's ok. I can earn it back later" when we took something away for bad behavior. Oops. I see how we were totally undermining ourselves. So no more earning back in our house.

We do give positive feedback for improved behavior ("I noticed that you tried hard to be respectful, even though you were frustrated. Thanks!"  Or a simple, "Wow. I appreciate that you said that so nicely. Thanks!"), but we now stay the course on consequences. YMMV. [/quote]

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