Reply to MEN ONLY- why do you have difficulties talking about your feelings?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because when I tell my DW about my feelings she tells me I'm wrong and it's my fault.  Or she starts crying and I end up apologizing just to get her to stop crying.  [/quote]

I think there is something to this. Woman here - not afraid of OP's "ban.". There are some people (women and men) who say the want to discuss "our feelings" but really what the person asking is saying is that s/he wants to discuss his/her feelings and have the non-communicator mirror these. If it isn't mirrored or the non-communicator expresses contrary feelings, then the above happens.[/quote]

Another woman daring to break in here. I wonder though if this is a symptom of the overall drought. IE, man talks about his feelings when something becomes big enough to talk about so its either negative or a really big deal. First 'feeling' woman hears about in ages is about how he doesn't feel respected or something, woman thinks she's a giant failure.

Had man been more generally communicative about his emotional state on a regular basis, maybe criticisms wouldn't be taken as hard.

Not to say there aren't cray cray drama queens. But my DH is very stoic and if he told me he was feeling worried about something I would freak out because it would seem like the sky was falling. For him to feel bad enough to bring something up would make me think we were on the verge of divorce or something. I would try not to but it would be so out of character that it would be legitimately alarming.[/quote]

I was wondering how long it would take to make it the man's fault.  DCUM, you never disappoint.[/quote]

That is really not what I meant. More pointing out that it might just be an unfortunate coincidence and that women should be conscious of it so as to not overreact and shut the conversation down. Conversations about feelings work best (IMO) when both parties are being open and understanding and calm.

When I described that about my DH, that is accurate. I know him because I spend every day with him. If he all of a sudden was consumed with feelings that he needed to get out I would be very worried because it would be so drastically different than the man I know every minute. A big component of the worry would be that he had felt he could never be himself with me in the past. It doesn't mean I wouldn't be open to talking to him about it and help him work through whatever it is he's feeling, just that I would be really surprised and that it would make me more concerned than if...some girlfriend who's always telling me what she's feeling vented to me. [/quote]

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