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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Could the problem be going through you rather than her son (expectation of going through boyfriend is weird).  Anyway it sounds like she wants to see you but doesn't want to host. Stop going out there with that expectation.[/quote]

Actually, it was usually her and my husband making plans.  But there were never any plans.  So I thought it was my husband.  So I tried.  This stuff with the boyfriend is really a last ditch effort.

And you are right.  Reading my post, it does sound like she doesn't really want us to visit her.  I don't know why I keep trying.  She just acts like she wants to see her grandkids more often, and she puts so much effort into coming out here.  
Maybe I just wanted someone to tell me that it's okay to stop making the effort.  Thanks internet stranger![/quote]

I've been married 20 years and my husband is generally not interested in getting together with his family.  For many years, I tried to get everyone together and it never turned out well, so I've gotten to the point that I'm not making getting together with my husband's family more important to me than it is to him.  It's just an exercise in frustration and ultimately, not my responsibility.  I'm sad that there's not a better, closer, more loving relationship and it certainly isn't what I envisioned when we married, but there's freedom in accepting things are they are.  We're not close.  The end.[/quote]

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