Reply to Am I emotionally stunted because I don't love my dad?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds like your dad worked so you had a place to live, food to eat, clothes to wear and schools to go to.  He may not have been very "warm and fuzzy", but sticking around and providing for you should count for something.  I actually do think you may share his emotional limitations if you don't see that. [/quote]

I have to agree with this -- I don't see anything in your post which leads me to think he was abusive, he just wasn't the father you wanted.  Very few of us in life get the parents we want exactly.  No one is perfect.[/quote]

I think that you can respect him for providing for you, but you don't have to love him. I also find--having had a father who provided for the kids financially, but was an abusive alcoholic--that having an unloving, unaffectionate parent, and being acutely aware of it, does not stunt you emotionally, but it does make you much more emotionally cautious and aware. My friends who grew up with loving, affectionate, kind, and responsible parents are almost naive in their love and respect for their parents. It's like they almost cannot believe that one of their peers few up with parents who were anything but. I am also super good at reading body language and emotional cues probably from the years of trying to anticipate and avoid conflict in the house due to my dad's behavior. OTOH, having grown up with a parent you can't love also unfortunately sets up a cycle where you think that it's normal to feel emotionally neglected.[/quote]

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