Reply to If you are in a second marriage/blended family, are you happy?

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Reply to "If you are in a second marriage/blended family, are you happy?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Happy, but it is a lot.  DH and I each have 2 children from our previous marriages.  That means really there are 8 of us -- DH, our kids, and our exes.  If any one of those people decides to create a problem, it affects us all.

His ex has mental health issues, so her functionality comes and goes.  She's not an entirely present mother, physically or emotionally.  It is sad to see for the kids, but in a way, it's made them receptive to the care and attention I give them.  I don't co-parent, I am like a favorite auntie.  But not exactly b/c things come up just living together.  They are laid-back kids and fun.

My kids were younger when they met my current DH (3 and 6 compared to his, 9 and 12).  He doesn't co-parent per se but the kids look up to him and he's been an important part of their lives.

We haven't had any "you're not my parent" type of problems, the issues are just logistics and that we have teens in the house.  Different issues at different ages--all normal whether blended or not.

Communication and rules are key for all of us, and we have a strong routine.  Our lives could be chaos but we've ritualized hand-offs, bedtime, meals, etc.  Each of us spends time with our own kids a lot by ourselves, and each others, and all together.  No one is forced.

DH is worth it.  We each had tough and long first marriages.  Having a marriage like this is amazing, and we take very good care of each other.  We respect each other's kids and care for them.  It's not easy, but rewarding, and we have a lot of fun.[/quote]

This is good to hear.  My DH is great, especially compared to my ex.  I didn't choose to end my first marriage, ex left suddenly when our kids were toddlers.  DH and I get along really well and enjoy each others company.  Our kids are all doing really well too.  At this point I would prefer to do more things with just my kids.[/quote]

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