Reply to Do your kids call their stepmom "mommy"?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]in my house, stepmom is "mother" and and my "real mom" is "Ma"[/quote]

I've wondered what can be used if you don't want the child to refer to an adult by his/her first name.  Obviously Mr/Mrs. Last name is way too formal but an honarary Aunt or Uncle title would be strange for your step parent, people may think your dad is married to your mom's sister!

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Stepmom.  Mom and any variation is reserved for mom.  In my house, the mom of the child deserves the name mom.  I would never allow a child to call me mom who had a mom who loved and cared for them.  Its disrespectful to take that mom title away from someone.[/quote]

I think the love and care thing is key.

I have neighbors with a blended family of older kids through teens.

The wife's kids call their stepdad by his first name. Their own dad is involved in their lives, takes them for a month over the summer, his parents (grandparents) are very involved. Stepdad and mom live with the kids and the family has been blended for years, but he is clearly stepdad to those kids.

The father and his kids mom have been divorced since they were tiny (I think they were babies/toddlers) and dad has full custody. I have never asked the details, but birth mom will sometimes go a year or more without seeing them. Stepmom has been in their lives since they were very little. They refer to stepmom as "mom" or my/our mom. Their birth mom who they almost never see? They refer to her as "our/my other mom". Stepmom has been the one to kiss their booboos, wipe their bottoms, chelp them through sickness, hugged them when they got dumped by friends or boyfriends, scolded them when they don't do their homework or chores, and always been the one to love them no matter what.

Birth mom flits in and out of their lives, sometimes forgetting birthdays and Christmas, and missing all their milestones snd boring day to day events.

Their step mom really is their mom, and their mom is just the lady who birthed them.

I think in situations like this, the loving and caring part trumps being just the birth vessel.
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