I'm a step-mom to grown girls and they have a nick name for me, which is actually sweet. I don't particularly like the name, but their intentions were good, not mom but more meaningful than step mom.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stepmom, I go by my first name for kids and grandkids. Kids have a mom. I don't think its appropriate and I would be hurt if my kids called someone else mom.

If you are a stepmom, please do not take away the mom title for many reasons.

If you are a mom, talk to your ex and let him know how it makes you feel, if he is decent. He never should allow it in less she is adopting them or a full-time parent with the kids having no contact with mom.

OP here, I'm a mom. Ex is getting remarried and my daughter told me she asked her to call her mommy while she's in their house. I'm not ok with this at all.

My mom and stepfather asked this of me. I did it, but I absolutely resented him for it. It was the first of many reasons that I never developed a relationship with him. My stepmom never asked it of me and really let me ease into a relationship with her. I don't call her mom, but I have a great relationship with her almost 30 years later.

Anonymous wrote:I never did as a kid.

My dad has been married to my stepmom for 30 yrs now and my mom has passed away. Now I refer to them as my parents but I still call her by her first name. She is grandma to my kids.

I had to check the date on this, because I could have written this exact post--except that my mom is still living!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stepmom, I go by my first name for kids and grandkids. Kids have a mom. I don't think its appropriate and I would be hurt if my kids called someone else mom.

If you are a stepmom, please do not take away the mom title for many reasons.

If you are a mom, talk to your ex and let him know how it makes you feel, if he is decent. He never should allow it in less she is adopting them or a full-time parent with the kids having no contact with mom.

OP here, I'm a mom. Ex is getting remarried and my daughter told me she asked her to call her mommy while she's in their house. I'm not ok with this at all.

So the stepmom asked your daughter to call her Mommy? Absolutely not. Talk to the ex. If it was a situation where there were other kids in the household, and the stepchild was saying she wanted to use mom like the other kids-then I would be a little more sympathetic. Maybe you should ship the stepmom some books on how to actually be a decent stepmom.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is going to happen. She's crazy, but not that crazy.

Yeah, that would be a +1 for me.

No. She calls both step parents by their first names.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know anyone, kid or adult that says mommy.

My kids both use Mommy.

I'm another stepmom here. Do you kids still have a mother? IT strikes me as really wrong that they'd call a stepmom "Mommy".

I'm a biological mother with primary custody.

Mom here. My daughter calls her stepmother and stepfather by their first names.

I'd be pissed as hell if her stepmother asked my child to call her mom (and my child would be super upset; we're close and although she gets along well with her stepmother she often expressed frustration that her dad and stepmom try to "erase" the life she has with me -- in her primary home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stepmom, I go by my first name for kids and grandkids. Kids have a mom. I don't think its appropriate and I would be hurt if my kids called someone else mom.

If you are a stepmom, please do not take away the mom title for many reasons.

If you are a mom, talk to your ex and let him know how it makes you feel, if he is decent. He never should allow it in less she is adopting them or a full-time parent with the kids having no contact with mom.

OP here, I'm a mom. Ex is getting remarried and my daughter told me she asked her to call her mommy while she's in their house. I'm not ok with this at all.

Ugh. Stepmom here. That's really creepy. How does your daughter feel about it?

She said she has no problem calling her that, but won't if it will upset me.

She's a sweet kid. But I think I'd still have a talk with the ex about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stepmom, I go by my first name for kids and grandkids. Kids have a mom. I don't think its appropriate and I would be hurt if my kids called someone else mom.

If you are a stepmom, please do not take away the mom title for many reasons.

If you are a mom, talk to your ex and let him know how it makes you feel, if he is decent. He never should allow it in less she is adopting them or a full-time parent with the kids having no contact with mom.

OP here, I'm a mom. Ex is getting remarried and my daughter told me she asked her to call her mommy while she's in their house. I'm not ok with this at all.

Ugh. Stepmom here. That's really creepy. How does your daughter feel about it?

She said she has no problem calling her that, but won't if it will upset me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my house, stepmom is "mother" and and my "real mom" is "Ma"

I've wondered what can be used if you don't want the child to refer to an adult by his/her first name. Obviously Mr/Mrs. Last name is way too formal but an honarary Aunt or Uncle title would be strange for your step parent, people may think your dad is married to your mom's sister!

Stepmom. Mom and any variation is reserved for mom. In my house, the mom of the child deserves the name mom. I would never allow a child to call me mom who had a mom who loved and cared for them. Its disrespectful to take that mom title away from someone.

I think the love and care thing is key.

I have neighbors with a blended family of older kids through teens.

The wife's kids call their stepdad by his first name. Their own dad is involved in their lives, takes them for a month over the summer, his parents (grandparents) are very involved. Stepdad and mom live with the kids and the family has been blended for years, but he is clearly stepdad to those kids.

The father and his kids mom have been divorced since they were tiny (I think they were babies/toddlers) and dad has full custody. I have never asked the details, but birth mom will sometimes go a year or more without seeing them. Stepmom has been in their lives since they were very little. They refer to stepmom as "mom" or my/our mom. Their birth mom who they almost never see? They refer to her as "our/my other mom". Stepmom has been the one to kiss their booboos, wipe their bottoms, chelp them through sickness, hugged them when they got dumped by friends or boyfriends, scolded them when they don't do their homework or chores, and always been the one to love them no matter what.

Birth mom flits in and out of their lives, sometimes forgetting birthdays and Christmas, and missing all their milestones snd boring day to day events.

Their step mom really is their mom, and their mom is just the lady who birthed them.

I think in situations like this, the loving and caring part trumps being just the birth vessel.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my house, stepmom is "mother" and and my "real mom" is "Ma"

I've wondered what can be used if you don't want the child to refer to an adult by his/her first name. Obviously Mr/Mrs. Last name is way too formal but an honarary Aunt or Uncle title would be strange for your step parent, people may think your dad is married to your mom's sister!

Stepmom. Mom and any variation is reserved for mom. In my house, the mom of the child deserves the name mom. I would never allow a child to call me mom who had a mom who loved and cared for them. Its disrespectful to take that mom title away from someone.

Anonymous wrote:in my house, stepmom is "mother" and and my "real mom" is "Ma"

I've wondered what can be used if you don't want the child to refer to an adult by his/her first name. Obviously Mr/Mrs. Last name is way too formal but an honarary Aunt or Uncle title would be strange for your step parent, people may think your dad is married to your mom's sister!

That's strange OP. I'd talk to your ex about it.
I had a stepdad who married my mom when I was 2. I called him dad, and maybe daddy. I also had an involved father who I called dad/daddy. My father never made me feel like it was wrong to call my stepdad "dad" but I don't think I was told to call him that- I think it evolved naturally as I lived primarily with my mom/stepdad and I was very young so it was a pretty seamless transition for me.

Whatever you do, take the high road.

Its absolutely not ok. You need to talk to your ex. He wouldn't want another man called dad?