Reply to Nerve wracking guilt about my pet cat

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I think you need bereavement counseling, and I would go so far as to say that this is an emergency. You might even need some anxiety medication to get you through the coming days. There is no way for you to still your mind and this repetitive loop of agonizing thoughts when you are not eating or sleeping - it's creating a very vicious cycle and you will remain captive within it until you take the time to care for yourself.

Your pain and heartbreak are completely understandable and natural but your reaction to it is extreme and self-destructive. I'm wondering if it's bringing up an earlier loss or unresolved issues from prior years/childhood.

Regardless, I think you are hoping to hear the magic words from us that will still your mind and give you peace, but I don't know that those words exist. You spoke with your vet's office for a long time and received unanimous reassurance here but still went back to that obsessive loop about somehow being at fault and causing your pet to suffer.

it's not your fault, OP.  You didn't do anything wrong or unforgivable. That is crystal clear to everyone who replied to this thread, your husband, the vet and staff. You did the best you could. It was a very complicated situation and you just didn't know what was happening, and that's okay. Let yourself feel all these feelings and forgive yourself. You are human.

Grief counseling, OP. Wishing you comfort and peace.

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