Reply to Conundrum - include family in memorial or no?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not quite sure why you left this major part of planning to your cousin who clearly isn't reliable and doesn't care as much as it seems multiple others do, but I guess that doesn't matter at this point.

Do it another time and tell the important people that's the new date. Get the aunt.[/quote]

OP here. She's not normally unreliable. Entirely the opposite. She drives people crazy planning everything 80 years in advance. She's usually exactly the person you want for this sort of thing. That's why I think maybe it's just her not-very-awesome way of dealing with death. (Unlike me, she's never had anyone she loves die.) The problem is that even though I understand this, it's hard to get past it and go back to our normal, close relationship.[/quote]

Have you explained how much her dropping the ball on this upsets you? I lost both parents and this would be unforgivable to me, if you're that close.[/quote]

OP here. I have not said anything. Can't decide if I should. It is pretty close to unforgivable for me too. And we have often called each other sister-by-another-mother. We are that close. (Also, her son is adopted and so am I, so I also feel a special need to stay close so that he grows up with a role model and friend who understands.) You'd think I'd be able to tell her how upset this has made me - for myself and my aunt - but she'd be right if she said she had apologized for screwing up the reservation. (She has.) Is she really under any obligation to make it right, if so-doing requires rearranging her own vacation plans or being seriously inconvenienced? I just don't feel that's mine to ask. My aunt, maybe. So I guess I don't feel I have much right to be mad in the first place. [/quote]

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