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[quote=Anonymous]My parents have never helped with my kids. They didn't come at their birth, they have never visited them in our home. They are older and after watching them with my kids at their houses I realized they are just NOT the grandparents to provide care. It made it easier to digest the problem - and realize that I needed to come up with a solution for our family that didn't involve them. Now my FIL and MIL claimed to be SO excited about grandkids, until we had them - they will come to visit and not lift a finger to help. Nor will they do anything that helps us out. Meaning, ok you don't want to watch or care for the kids but can you foodshop, do laundry - something? Anything? I'm madder at them because in essence they "promised" to help out and then come and make more work for us and get everyone stressed out - plus their unhelpful comments about our SN DS sends me thru the roof. SO we hire help - you pay someone the expectations are set, the boundaries are clear and I get the help that I need. We visit my family regularly but don't expect the grandparents to watch or  care for the kids, my FIL and MIL are no longer invited to visit (my DH stands behind this as well). We meet as a family in a neutral location and for a very short duration. I guess what I'm saying is you need to get over the issue with your father, become self sufficient and set the boundaries and expectations with your family that work best for you. It will make you happier.[/quote]

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